Thursday, July 29, 2010
LONELY?…. BUT YOU WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE!!!
Loneliness is something that we don’t want people to know. Been burned when you reached out? Feel lonely in a room full of people? In a marriage where you feel like you are the only one there? Feel like you are invisible in a group when you look around and see the ones with the most diamonds, driving the latest “ride” or how about this one, is the “most spiritual”? They are getting the most attention. Oh! The followers are all around them trying to find out the latest, or to make what I call “points” with that important person.
Caeden, our 8 year old grandson, is not letting that hold him back. Oh, the innocence of a child! One day he told his Dad, when he goes on the playground at school, he likes to look for the kid who has no friends; he goes over and asks them what they want to play? Not only does he play with them, he plays what they want to play. We are so grateful for our little guy and his unique personality. His teacher told Phillip and Amy every morning he goes into class and will go to each student asking how they are doing and if he can help them with something. Reaching out is helpful to others and ourselves more than we realize.
So a question would be, “how do you overcome Loneliness? One of the things I feel we have the tendency to do in today’s society is isolate ourselves. We can walk in a room full of people and feel lonely. That is what I described earlier. When you sense this emotion, it really helps to step back and take a look at what’s going on in the here and now. Loneliness can breed depression, which can lead to Self-Pity, and it becomes a vicious cycle. So take my advice, stop thinking about you and let others in sometimes. Develop friendships; it is healthy for both you and others. Learn some new things about the people you already know and the new ones you meet. Ask questions to get to know them, like “where did you grow up”, “what kind of work do you do?” It want be long before you will enjoy being in groups. Social skills are a learned skill.
Sometimes it helps to talk to a counselor or your pastor, a close friend you can trust. When you talk to someone in the care giving profession it is like you have a ball of thread inside that needs to come out as you talk and answer questions you are ask you find the answers are revealed. A person that can practice “active listening” as you share your feelings can help you see those things you aren’t aware of.
One more thing, life is so valuable! One day I thought, if God decided to create me, and if He took the time to create me, I might think of myself with a little more value than I had over the years. I began to find my Purpose in Life, developing a Mission Statement to accomplish that task. I discovered with this mindset, I had to include others in my circle. Oh how it changed things for me! I felt so dumb about this next thought… if Christ is my Life and He is, He might want to use me to help someone else. Since it is He doing it not me, I must not limit Him. It’s been different ever since. So get up, get out, and get started, look around give some of YOU away, you get back much more than you give, it just works that way. And Loneliness well, you want have time for it…