A PARENTING STYLE TO AVOID!….
Read an interesting article in the North GA News. I had saved it for a later reminder. Our local High School counselor, Dr. Ray Ashurst Ph. D, published it. He is in a place where he most likely sees this behavior often to prove his facts. It will benefit our parenting skills. It relieves pressure for those who tend to “Hover Over”. Take it as a lesson in “The School of Parenting”…
THE HELICOPTER PARENT….
Helicopter parents are easy to spot. They hover, like helicopters, over their child's from birth through adolescence, and sometimes longer. The child begins living with the effects of the parent’s over protected behavior. Later in life. They become angry at the well meaning parents. The parent guards their child's every word, thought, emotion, and behavior. Dad and mom get the sad results of “strangled” emotional and mental growth of their child. The child is not allowed to know who they are. Because the parent are interfering, trying to aim the child in the “way of the parent”. and not permitting the child or teenager to develop, grow and make mistakes. Schools and churches witness the hovering parent seeing the effects of the domineering parent.
There is a natural development that all children have the right to go through. For the most part, the child will do just fine in life. Yet, when a hovering parent comes into the picture, the natural development closes off. They grow up being a mommy’s boy or daddy’s girl rather than an adult in an adult society. This cripples one for life because the helicopter parent has squashed their individuality.
The hovering parent will not own up that the child has done any wrong. They will most likely place the blame on society, the church, or the school. Heaven forbids that the child must face the consequences of his actions. the child ends up being a total brat with little friends. He goes through life believing that the parent is going to bail him out of trouble. The tragedy is the parent does try.
Hovering parent will tend to continue to change the child’s emotional and mental diapers. This will go on long into adolescence or adulthood. They have an inner need to have the child be like them, and of course to be accountable for one’s behavior. They feel they have to intercede for their child or self respect and self acceptance will be damaged. A child growing up under these conditions will cause questions. Questions like, who he is and why he needs mommy and daddy to help him cope with life.
Helicopter parents are a mess, waiting for something to happen. They are not happy unless they can put their two cents in and dominate their child’s growth. I feel sorry for this child because his self worth will not be worth a dime as he struggles to go through life. And he will tend to marry someone who represents his mommy or daddy because he was not allow to brake free.
To all moms and dads who remain helicopter parents, you are damaging your child. Professional help will guide you in breaking this unhealthy bonds.
You can not go wrong leading your child with Biblical Based Parenting. This one will encourage a weary parent. Proverbs 22:6 “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Pray and ask God what He would have you do and understand that each child is different but the principles you teach them will always stay the same.
God bless you in this great adventure of Parenting. Those little gifts are from our God above. A mother who was well seasoned in parenting gave me some good advice one day that I put into practice. I hurt over my boys choices in their teens. She looked at me and said, “don’t stay on them all the time just enjoy them!!!” She was so right now that they are in their fifties I can say, I have and I am……
